Five Fast Ways to Start Loving Yourself Better Today
Everyone is quick to say that loving yourself is the first step to building a healthy relationship, but no one ever says how you go about that. The truth is, loving yourself is a skill you perfect with practice. And the better you get at it, the better you’ll be able to love another human being, and teach them how best to love you in return.
1) Forgive Yourself
The weight of guilt and resentment falls heavy—and it looks a lot like baggage. Baggage that only slows you down and makes you a really un-fun date. So start by forgiving yourself the little trespasses, stop holding yourself to an unrealistic standard of perfection, and practice letting go of anger and guilt. We’re almost always harder on ourselves than others, so the kinder and less judgmental we become towards ourselves, the kinder and more understanding we’ll become of others.
2) Listen to meditation recordings or guided visualizations…
Weird science fact: tell a human something enough times and they start to believe it. So be careful about what thoughts you are feeding your brain! Following along with a guided meditation is like hiking to the top of a mountain with a Sherpa; the more you do it, the easier it’ll be for you to climb the positivity trail by yourself. Pretty soon, you’ll be able to appreciate the positives in yourself, in an experience, and even, in a new date…
3) Keep a Diary (and throw in some positive self-statements)
We don’t mean write down incredible nuggets of wisdom for posterity, just some stream-of-conscience free-writing when it hits you! Thoughts have power when you let them fester; writing them down releases their steam. Write them down to let them go, later see if you notice any recurring themes. And most importantly write positive affirmations. Like mentioned above, the more different ways you can reshape your brain into thinking positively the better
4) Always know you did your best, then let it go
This is especially true for dating, but it works for everything. The reality is, you’ve always done the best you could have done in any given moment… some moments are just better than others! If you obsess over the past, it will interfere with your ability to do better in the future. After all, sometimes the most awkward first dates turn into the best love stories.
5) Practice the kind of soothing you’d give to a loved one on yourself
Humans are creatures of habit! We do what is familiar and comfortable. So set yourself the habit of being loving and soothing—practice until it is physical (and emotional) memory. Take yourself to a pretty nature spot, treat yourself to a delicate dessert, take a warm bath, or curl up in a blanket. The better you are at loving yourself, the better you are at picking loving partners and being a loving partner.